Vedic tales (Marriage) - Part 1
The preparations leading up to my marriage began on Monday with what I would normally call a small pooja. However, this time around I was made to realize that though I don't look like one, I am actually a brahmin!!
Normally a pooja or aarti in our household would mean that we place the photograph of a God in front and decorate it with banana leafs and surround the area with coconuts, flowers and rice. The pujari or 'bhat' as we call him would then murmur some sholkas in sanskrit and ask us to follow few set pieces of instructions and after a few hours declare that the function is complete!!
This time around it was completely different. The bhatji who sat next to me, was quite vocal and a certain extent modern. Thus, at every juncture he would actually tell me what we were doing and what significance it had to my marriage. Now, I may not be an expert at this, but from what I understand this is what the theory says:
"As per the Vedic scriptures, a brahmin enters the stage called 'brahmacharya' early in his life when he is still young. He shaves of his hair, leaves his household and moves under the care of a Guru. This Guru imparts him all the education that he may need to live a healthy and successful life. This includes basic and higher education, knowledge of warfare (self-defense) and much more.
After this is done, the brahmin has to pack his bags and move to a place called Kashi in the Himalayas to meditate and take up 'Sanyas'. At this time, a girl's father has to stop him and request him to postpone his Kashi yatra and instead get married to his daughter and fulfill his responsibilities of the next stage, also known as 'Grahastashram'. The brahmin agrees and stays back with his wife till his kids have grown big etc etc."
Now let me put all of the above in perspective of my life. My thread ceremony was performed in the December of 1989. I had supposedly entered into the 'brahmacharya' stage that year. Since then I have been wearing the holy thread and reciting prayers, but not very religiously. The 'Guru' in my life has been replaced by all my wonderful and not so wonderful teachers, principles, elders, seniors and now I guess even my Managers!!......I am not so sure though that the education I have received will help me live a healthy and successful life....but let me not get into that now.
Now, I have to complete the next step of threatening to march to Kashi with nothing but an umbrella (to protect me from any sort of weather) and a couple of coconuts for my basic eating needs and this is exactly what happened in my home on Monday.
I was dressed up and all set to take up 'Sanyas', when Prachi's dad stopped me and asked me to get married to his daughter. Of course all this happened in much fanfare. At one stage, my uncle jokingly reminded my father-in-law that he didn't have to work hard to convince me to stop my 'Kashi' yatra, to which Prachi's dad sportingly replied -
'I think he was already very convinced!!'
What followed then was the process where we perform the required rituals to mark my move into the 'Grahastashram'. A prayer to Gods, followed by a prayer to invite the souls of our forefathers to come and bless the couple.
I was told by the Pujari that in ancient times, in the villages and in the Guru's ashram, boys would dive into large wells or rivers to swim or clim trees to remove fruits. So, during one of the rituals he made me recite a few lines in Sanskrit that actually meant that I would not jump in the river or climb trees now, since I have the responsibility of taking care of my wife. Again over here, there was no clause that could stop me from going for a swim or a trek and I agreed without much of a fuss.
Also, Lord Agni is supposed to be witness to all this and that's why we had a small 'kund' at our place in which we had light a fire and all the poojas' were conducted around it.
Moving forward, I am not so sure how good a husband I will be in this new 'Grahastashram' stage, but this little lesson I learned was quite interesting.
Normally a pooja or aarti in our household would mean that we place the photograph of a God in front and decorate it with banana leafs and surround the area with coconuts, flowers and rice. The pujari or 'bhat' as we call him would then murmur some sholkas in sanskrit and ask us to follow few set pieces of instructions and after a few hours declare that the function is complete!!
This time around it was completely different. The bhatji who sat next to me, was quite vocal and a certain extent modern. Thus, at every juncture he would actually tell me what we were doing and what significance it had to my marriage. Now, I may not be an expert at this, but from what I understand this is what the theory says:
"As per the Vedic scriptures, a brahmin enters the stage called 'brahmacharya' early in his life when he is still young. He shaves of his hair, leaves his household and moves under the care of a Guru. This Guru imparts him all the education that he may need to live a healthy and successful life. This includes basic and higher education, knowledge of warfare (self-defense) and much more.
After this is done, the brahmin has to pack his bags and move to a place called Kashi in the Himalayas to meditate and take up 'Sanyas'. At this time, a girl's father has to stop him and request him to postpone his Kashi yatra and instead get married to his daughter and fulfill his responsibilities of the next stage, also known as 'Grahastashram'. The brahmin agrees and stays back with his wife till his kids have grown big etc etc."
Now let me put all of the above in perspective of my life. My thread ceremony was performed in the December of 1989. I had supposedly entered into the 'brahmacharya' stage that year. Since then I have been wearing the holy thread and reciting prayers, but not very religiously. The 'Guru' in my life has been replaced by all my wonderful and not so wonderful teachers, principles, elders, seniors and now I guess even my Managers!!......I am not so sure though that the education I have received will help me live a healthy and successful life....but let me not get into that now.
Now, I have to complete the next step of threatening to march to Kashi with nothing but an umbrella (to protect me from any sort of weather) and a couple of coconuts for my basic eating needs and this is exactly what happened in my home on Monday.
I was dressed up and all set to take up 'Sanyas', when Prachi's dad stopped me and asked me to get married to his daughter. Of course all this happened in much fanfare. At one stage, my uncle jokingly reminded my father-in-law that he didn't have to work hard to convince me to stop my 'Kashi' yatra, to which Prachi's dad sportingly replied -
'I think he was already very convinced!!'
What followed then was the process where we perform the required rituals to mark my move into the 'Grahastashram'. A prayer to Gods, followed by a prayer to invite the souls of our forefathers to come and bless the couple.
I was told by the Pujari that in ancient times, in the villages and in the Guru's ashram, boys would dive into large wells or rivers to swim or clim trees to remove fruits. So, during one of the rituals he made me recite a few lines in Sanskrit that actually meant that I would not jump in the river or climb trees now, since I have the responsibility of taking care of my wife. Again over here, there was no clause that could stop me from going for a swim or a trek and I agreed without much of a fuss.
Also, Lord Agni is supposed to be witness to all this and that's why we had a small 'kund' at our place in which we had light a fire and all the poojas' were conducted around it.
Moving forward, I am not so sure how good a husband I will be in this new 'Grahastashram' stage, but this little lesson I learned was quite interesting.
Comments
Btw .. informative piece ;)