Days of my life!!

Almost every Bollywood movie, that contains a marriage scene, has explicitly showcased a ritual that is very common and unique to this part of the world - the ritual of applying Haldi to the bride and the groom. Now, if you go and tell any Indian bride that Haldi or Turmeric is described in Wikipedia as " Rhizomatous herbaceous perennial plant of the ginger family ", she will probably gallop away and never get married, but if you tell her that 'it gives you an extra glow and keeps away harmful bacteria from your skin', she will probably apply an extra layer and that is exactly why it has been included as an important ritual in every Hindu marriage; GSBs not be left out. However, in our marriages in order to save some time, the wise bhatjis have devised an innovative way to perform the same. Here, the bride and the groom are made to separately sit on the ground. Two leaves, from a mango tree, are chosen for this task. One end is dipped into some turmeric water and th...

An Indian wedding consists of various rituals that need to be completed as part of the overall wedding ceremony and a typical G.S.B (Gaud Saraswat Brahmin) wedding was not far to be left behind. As a value addition to my wedding, I had decided to try and learn the real story or theory behind each and every ritual and I must say that to a certain degree I exceeded. I can proudly say now, that I am far more educated (with respect to a GSB wedding), than I was say a month back. So, writing about each and every one of those rituals is quite a tedious task and hence, I have decided to write it in short installments. For starters, I wish to talk about a certain ritual that was performed by both Prachi and me, separately and fondly goes by the name ' Urda Murthh '. The Ritual - As part of the ' Urda Murthh ' ritual, the groom has to sit on the stage in front of a small grinding wheel. This wheel is made of stone and has a strong base at bottom and a movable stone on top which...

The preparations leading up to my marriage began on Monday with what I would normally call a small pooja . However, this time around I was made to realize that though I don't look like one, I am actually a brahmin !! Normally a pooja or aarti in our household would mean that we place the photograph of a God in front and decorate it with banana leafs and surround the area with coconuts, flowers and rice. The pujari or ' bhat ' as we call him would then murmur some sholkas in sanskrit and ask us to follow few set pieces of instructions and after a few hours declare that the function is complete!! This time around it was completely different. The bhatji who sat next to me, was quite vocal and a certain extent modern. Thus, at every juncture he would actually tell me what we were doing and what significance it had to my marriage. Now, I may not be an expert at this, but from what I understand this is what the theory says: "As per the Vedic scriptures, a brahmin enter...

A dear friend of mine is due to get married soon. So, in the list of invites he includes the names of his colleagues from the company he worked in previously. Now this a start-up firm and doesn't have more than 25 people on it's payroll. So, he decides to send out an invite to each and every employee. In that process, he scans the wedding invite and sends out an email to everyone from the C.E.O to every Engineer in the firm, but he sends the actual wedding invitation by courier to the office boy!! Any idea why he did this?? Simple - The office boy did not have an email id!! Logic or stupidity......I'll let you decide that.

It's only in Hindi movies, that our Hero - an army commando, is given a new mission by the Police Commissioner!! .....or atleast by a gentleman who is dressed like a Police Commissioner of some city. Also, it's only possible in our world famous cinema that the enemy country is nothing but a table top mountain surrounded on all four sides by India!! Here is a scene from the movie: ------------------------------------------------ Commissioner : 'Only you can fulfill this mission - Your task is to enter the enemy territory and destroy them in their own backyard.' Hero : 'Don't worry sir...it will be done.' They then move into a dark room and a slide show begins. Commissioner : (pointing to the table top enemy country) 'Getting there will be your biggest issue. Going there by Helicopter is too dangerous and the only other way is through the cable car, where there is a lot of security' Hero : 'Hmmm' Commissioner : 'How to get there is your loo...

For the first six months, since moving into my New Thippasandra residence, we had been trying to de-bug the full form of a hotel that simply went by the name B.F.C A small hotel by the side of the road leading from Kagadaspura to Mallesh Pallya, had a logo that got quite close to resembling the famous KFC logo, with that weird looking bearded gentlemen. The difference being that in the BFC logo, that gentleman was replaced by the head of a Rooster. Apart from the logo, they also served a special menu comprising of 'ZinZZer' burger (which is again similar to the patented burger of a similar name) along side the regular Chinese and Tandoori dishes. Whatever the case, we liked the taste and the quantity of the food and hence, we frequented that place on a weekly basis for a sole purpose, as Nishat defines it - ' Murgi phadne!! ' Yesterday too, Nishat and me went there to have a 'light' dinner, which for me would consist of a soup and full 'chicken tikka' b...

There was a test match that was once played between India and Australia, at the M Chinnaswamy stadium in Bangalore. I don't know much about the score and all, but I do remember that Anil Kumble was at the crease, batting with Sachin Tendulkar at the other end. Kumble batted a long innings and was on 39. Sachin, took a single of McGrath and gave Kumble the strike. Kumble, played the next ball towards sweeper cover, ran the single and on reaching the other end lifted his bat to the crowd. He was literally celebrating and a big majority of the crowd in Bangalore stood up and cheered. Even the giant scoreboard started flashing the sign - Congratulations Anil Kumble on scoring 40!! Sachin at the other end, was confused. He looked to the dressing room and saw the same confused look in the eyes of his teammates. This wasn't even Kumble's highest score!! Some aussie fielders came up to Sachin and asked him what was going on with Kumble. So, Sachin went up to Kumble and asked him, ...

Now that the weekend is finally coming to a close, I can gladly declare that I was successful in restraining full control over myself. I was able to control the desire....the urge. It was really really tempting, but somehow, I have managed to scrape through and come clean. This was all caused by the onset of the Ganpati festival. Even touching wasn't allowed!! I am a guy baba ....this craving comes naturally to us!!.....and it was all over the place. Whenever I closed my eyes, whenever I switched on the TV - it was right there. But now that it is over, I can boast about my self-control and my patience. I did not succumb to my desires. Yessss!!! Phew ....bloody hell.....I must say here that surviving the entire weekend without non-veg food is too damn difficult!!

Sheetal, a girl who works in a famous software company, here in Bangalore, comes back to her PG late in the evening, totally frustrated. She picks up her phone and calls her boy-friend. The conversation goes something like this: 'Hello......Where the hell have you been?....Why did you take so much time to pick my call??' 'Ehh....' 'What ehh.....I don't want to hear any of your stupid bahanas . Do you even know how frustrated I am today??....It's 11pm. I have just got back to my room. I didn't even have proper dinner. That stupid meeting went on till 10pm.....and we were given only biscuits during the call!!' 'Ehh...what are you saying?' 'What am I saying??.....What can I say??....There is nothing left for me to say. You never allow me to say anything in the first place!!. Even my stupid manager, doesn't let us talk during the meeting. Only he keeps on talking - blah blah blah!!.......What am I saying!....Arey, if I speak two words, pe...

When you play corporate level cricket, like I do, every now and then, you tend to come across oppositions who aren't that great. On such occasions, you will find the captain toss the ball into the hands of the lesser known, non-regular bowlers to ensure that the opponents atleast score a decent amount of runs for the batsmen to chase. It's only on such occasions that I find myself bowling. Yesterday, our captain's intentions were certainly clear when Anil was asked to bowl the 3rd over and I was called on to bowl the 9th - we had to let the batsmen make some runs. (Ok, before moving on, I must state here that this blog is a reality unlike my 'DELLdrums' blog......so please read on) Twice, I have played on the Railways Ground and twice we have faced opposition that havn't been quite upto the mark. On my first outing, I saw myself giving away 40 runs in the allotted 3 overs, for no wickets. This time around the statistics were better.....only slightly. So, my qu...

Something new happened yesterday, something not very common in the history of my company. All the engineers working on a specific project were called into a room and given a program level update. It was basically a follow-up on a 3 day customer visit, termed as 'De-briefing', where the acting Program Manager, SK, spoke about the good and the bad points that came out of the visit. It was good in lot of ways, but there were a few specific sentence that caught my attention and this blog is all about that. The current project that I am working on, offers a 'first time' on lot of avenues and two of them being: - It's the first time that we are working with a company, from a Far Eastern country. - It's the first time that they are working with an Indian company, or any outsider for that matter. Hence, in such cases, correct communication takes top priority. To stress the point, SK talked about an important aspect of Human behaviour. Whenever two people, especially str...

It was yet another final with our arch enemy - DELL. After winning the toss and electing to bat, our spirits were up. The plan was to post a big score (200+) in the allotted 20 overs and then put pressure on their famous batting attack. But not all went according to plan. 2 wickets in 2 balls in the very first over - both opening batsmen back in the hut! .....Soon the score read, 17/3 and a few minutes later - 25/4.....we were in trouble. Puneet and Ajay B tried to steady the score, but the wickets kept falling. By the 18th over, we were reeling at 87/8!! Rahul and Sujit were at the crease. I, the last batsman, was padded up and keenly awaiting my turn. A left arm spinner was bowling to Sujit. The first few balls were quiet. The third ball was pitched up. Sujit put his foot out and drove the ball down the ground. Mid On was standing inside the circle and the ball raced past him to the boundary. 4 runs!! Claps all around. Then Sujit played a rash shot to the next ball and held out to...

Kids, when it comes to celebrating the spirit of our Independence, Open-Silicon is never too far to be left behind and hence, like always, our devout S.W.A.T (Stop Working All the Time) team, came up with this brilliant plan to host a 'Ethnic Day' on Friday, the 13th of August. Emails were sent out, well in advance, and the SWAT members did a good job in literally brain-washing and torturing the employees in adorning some form of traditional dress on the appointed day. Few did not oblige, but what was heartening to see was that a vast majority fell prey to the tactics that the SWAT team adopted. The ladies were all draped in colourful sarees, while the gentlemen simply strode into office wearing kurtas and jeans. Half a dozen guys, who had conveniently forgotten about the day, showed some amazing sporting spirit and simply crossed the street into the ' Mother Earth ' store and purchased some of the kurtas on sale. By lunch time, almost 85% of the office was looking at i...

Just wanted to announce to the world, the good news that I have been recently blessed with a house-maid, or whom we commonly refer to here as 'bai'. The moment occurred at 9:10am on Sunday morning, when my land lady knocked on my door and introduced me to Padma bai . As expected, she started to murmur something in a language, which atleast I couldn't understand, but the movements of her hand and some translation by my land lady helped me decipher what her demands were. Now, with a new bai around the home, come new demands - new washing soap, new cleaning cloth....and like a good home owner I had to nod my head in approval, and swallow this extra expense. This morning, she woke me up at 6:02am and by 6:24am, my home was spic and span, which is quite an unprecedented event to occur in this household since the past 2 years. When she left, the air had a slight mist of Dettol disinfectant in it, which has basically ensured that the germs, who share my room with me, without pay...

Here is a story that my mom recently told me, about her colleague from bank. I do not have the name of this lady or her son, who is apparently the hero of this story. Infact, I don't even feel it is necessary, so here goes. So, one of my mom's friend has a son who is like 4 -5 years old now. He is the only son and like many others, a very very naughty one. He hardly listens to his parents and has made their life miserable. One other thing that he absolutely hates is 'injections' and she was telling my mom that the last time he took an injection he cried, screamed, screeched and created a horrific scene at the nursing home. Recently this kid was playing in the compound of their building and fell down. He had bruised his left knee and was in some pain. So, she took him to the nursing home again. The doctor cleaned his wounds and he just cried a little bit, which was understandable. But the doctor told her that it was better that they administer him a dose of ' tetanus...

I wanted to write a blog about my Engagement Day, but happened to stumble onto this and posted it instead.......Enjoy maadi. DAIRY OF Ms. ANONYMOUS : Date: 6th March, 2010 . 8 am - Ohh my God, Ohh my God, Ohh my God.......Prachi is getting engaged today. Ohh wow....I am so excited, I am going to shout. Nahh....mom will think I have gone crazy. You know what, I have actually gone crazy. Prachi is getting engaged today!!........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 2 pm - Shit, I am so excited, I couldn't even eat my lunch properly. I might put on. I have to look good today. Ohh my God, Ohh my God.......Prachi is getting engaged. What should I wear today...let's see....a nice salwar kameez. Yes, will look good, but what colour? Blue will look good, but so will this Brown one. How about this Red? No....Red is more like a marriage colour. I think I will go for this Yellow one or maybe Cyan, even this Purple is good. Shit, my bed is in a mess now. I think I will go for the Blue one only. 5 pm ...

THUD THUD....someone banging on my door. I checked the time - 8am. I picked myself up and lazily walked to the door. It was my bai. She did all the chores and left in 15 minutes. I just sat there thinking about why all the bai 's in the world, always come this early in the morning, even on Sundays. After she was gone, I ambled my way back to bed and dozed off. The next sound that woke me up was someone shouting on the first floor. It was probably my landlord's grand daughter. I extended my right hand out. Somewhere on the floor, was my mobile. I switched it ON. It was 10am. I wanted to sleep on. My morning was yet to begin. Still in bed, I did a little more searching with my right hand. I found what I was looking for - the TV remote, half embedded under my bed. CLICK - the best click I hear throughout the day, everyday. I was surfing through some channels when the electricity was cut off. Shit...what to do now. So I slept again. " zzzzzzzz.... " Some two hours later,...