Commando

It's only in Hindi movies, that our Hero - an army commando, is given a new mission by the Police Commissioner!! .....or atleast by a gentleman who is dressed like a Police Commissioner of some city.

Also, it's only possible in our world famous cinema that the enemy country is nothing but a table top mountain surrounded on all four sides by India!!

Here is a scene from the movie:

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Commissioner: 'Only you can fulfill this mission - Your task is to enter the enemy territory and destroy them in their own backyard.'

Hero: 'Don't worry sir...it will be done.'

They then move into a dark room and a slide show begins.

Commissioner: (pointing to the table top enemy country) 'Getting there will be your biggest issue. Going there by Helicopter is too dangerous and the only other way is through the cable car, where there is a lot of security'

Hero: 'Hmmm'

Commissioner: 'How to get there is your lookout?'

Hero: 'Don't worry sir.....we will get there.'

Commissioner: 'This is going to be a very dangerous mission...so be careful'

Hero's friend: (who is so ugly that I forgot to mention him earlier) 'Sir, for the sake of our country, even if we have to hug Death herself, we have no problems!!'

[Trust me when I say this - that dialogue sounds even more pathetic in Hindi!!....So much so that when he says it, our Hero gives him a weird look as if to say 'Bahut bol raha hain sala'. ]

Commissioner: 'We have a female agent in the enemy land who works as a waitress in their local pub. Her name is zoom zoom'

Hero: 'Zoom zoom.....hmm....the name sounds familiar'

Commissioner: 'Yes, her father also died in the same mission that your father died'

Hero: 'ohh....now I understand'

[I know you must be thinking - What the @#$........ Anyway, lets move on.....]

Hero: 'Sir, please contact her and tell her that we are coming. Our code name will be Dhoom Dhoom'

In the next scene, we can see a miniaturized mountain range created out of some pathetic plastic and two small parachutes, which we can normally see on the top of any cocktail drink, dropping out of nowhere.

Suddenly, our Hero and his friend are in the same pub where the Heroine is dancing along side some enemy officers and commandos. The Hero joins her and sings the following song:

"Tu zoom zoom,
mein dhoom dhoom,
so let's together ghoom ghoom..."

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No prizes for guessing here, that the Hero is no other than the legendary Mithun da and the amazingly pathetic movie goes by the name - Commando.

Don't miss the movie the next time it airs on TV and until then I am planning to start a community on Facebook which will go by the name -

'Nominate Commando for the Oscars'