Big Bang Theory!

The other day I read some news about a 13 year old boy who had cracked the 'Indian Institute of Technology, Joint Entrance Exam' or simply the IIT-JEE. I was happy that we had finally found our very own Desi Sheldon Cooper. But, now lets take a ride through the future of this bright kid as he treads slowly towards his life-long dream.

First, he goes and meets the Dean of IIT-Bombay and the conversations goes as follows:

DS: "Hello sir...I cracked the IIT-JEE sir. Here, see my certificate."

Dean: "Ainh...how old are you?"

DS: "Sir, I am 13 years old."

Dean: (angrily) "These buggers are out of their mind. Need to change the paper setters!....Anyways, you see beta, we only accept student who have completed 10+2....so now you go back, finish your school and 12th standard, give the exam again and then come ok!"

DS: (dejected) "Ok sir..."

Dean: "Don't feel bad....I am sure you will crack the exam even then."

Right on cue a few years later, Desi Sheldon cracks the exam again and comes to meet the Dean, who has 25 more white hairs on his head then he had during their last meet.

DS: "Hello Sir.....Do you remember me?"

Dean: "Ainh.....how can I remember you! Who are you?"

DS: "Sir I topped the IIT-JEE again!"

Dean: "Eh....show me show me......", he inspects the certificate in detail again and then responds with a smile, "Ok ok....welcome to IIT-Bombay son, we want students like you to come here. Which department do you want to join?"

DS: "Sir....I want to be a Mechanical Engineer!"

So, our little hero goes through the paces again and a year later comes back to meet the Dean.

DS: "Sir, I was thinking of doing some research"

Dean: "Ainh....listen son....first you have to master your theory ok. You are in 3rd semester now. Finish upto 6th semester and then for your final year project, we will talk about research ok!"

Dejected once again, our Desi Sheldon goes back, works hard on his grade and comes back 2 years later, super excited.

DS: "Sir Sir.....I am read for research sir!"

Dean: "Ainh.....what research....what will your topic be?"

DS: "Sir Sir......with the correct use of materials, I am confident that we can come up with an Internal Combustion engine that can take a satellite to Mars in less than one month!"

Dean: "What non-sense is this!"

DS: "No sir....it's possible. I have read all the books in the library and even downloaded IEEE papers written on it. I am sure it is possible sir!"

The Dean thinks for a while and says: "It's time you learn about life. I want you to go to Bangalore and meet the Chief Scientific Officer of ISRO, Mr Chandra Yaan!"

So, as scheduled, our young energetic hero flies down to Bangalore and meets Mr. Yaan and explains to him his idea.

Mr. Yaan: "See Son.....what appears possible in theory is not always possible in practical sense."

DS: "Yes sir....so I wanted to sit with you and discuss and get your guidance on this matter."

Mr. Yaan: "Yes yes...guidance you will get. But first you have to finish your Engineering, give GATE exam and get 98% marks. Then you will get job here as Jr. Scientist A. You will get to work on INSAT-2C first. You see the the last person to tighten the screw on that satellite has left and we need to fill his role fast!"

DS: "But Sir...."

Mr. Yaan: "Wait young man...let me complete. You work for 5 years and you will get promoted from Grade A to Grade B to C...."

DS: "I know my alphabets sir.."

Mr. Yaan: "Ok good. So once you reach Grade E, you will become Senior Scientist. Then I will get you in touch with the Ministry of Defense. You take 2 years to come up with a nice proposal and they will take another 3 years to pass it and give you a budget."

DS: "What!"

Mr. Yaan: "Yes. I will retire by then, but you can carry on for another 20 years and your dream will surely be fulfilled."

DS: "But sir...by then, some other country would have beat us in the 'space-race'"

Mr. Yaan: "Ahh see son...I don't like all this racing and all ok. It is very dangerous and can be fatal. You drive slowly ok!....you have license no!"

Realizing that his dream would take 30 years to fulfill, our dejected hero calls his Dean and explains his disappointment to him.

Dean: "Ahh see son....don't be disappointed. I knew this would happen. So while you are in Bangalore, I have arranged another meeting for you with Mr. Recruitmanya. He is the HR head of a big software company there called 'InfoSucks'."

So, as instructed Desi Sheldon goes to meet Mr. Recruitmanya who examines his record and replies with a broad smiling face.

RM: "Wah wah son....you come and join us only. I will give you starting salary of 15 lakhs!"

DS: "What...How much!"

RM: "Yes yes...I will also send you onsite to US, you will earn more money there! And all you have to do is to maintain a system we have already installed for them and make small enhancements, once a year."

DS: "But sir, any good software engineer can do this for you....why me?"

RM: "Cause with your record, I can charge them $150/hr more than anybody else!....you see son....you happy, I happy.....It's all about the dollarraaa dollarraaa......So, when can you join?"

Our Desi Sheldon, now fully depressed comes back to his room, flicks the DVD of Subash Ghai's Pardes and play his favourite song of all time which goes: "I love my India.....watan mera India...."